I wrote Misfit In Hell To Heaven Expat to share my Dark Near-Death Experience, my visit to heaven, and the effects these events had on my life to help others. With years to reflect upon my experiences with various people throughout my illness and recovery, I have observed the following:
DOCTORS & NURSES –
If you make a mistake or error while attending a patient, please apologize to that person and inform their caregiver of the event. Secret transgressions leave patients feeling unimportant, frustrated and vulnerable.
INDEPENDENT & ASSISTED LIVING PERSONNEL –
There is a tendency to dismiss elderly or disabled persons as undeserving of patience and respect. It is sometimes helpful to have a photo of your clients in their prime years on a prominent bulletin board to remind others of their younger versions. We always remain our essential selves during our lifetime, but we just appear to others in a “disguise” when we age, become debilitated, or are ill.
EMT’S & FIRE FIGHTERS –
We all have a predetermined “expiration date” that we agreed to before coming into this life. Concentrate on making each patient comfortable; be kind and supportive but try not to take it personally if you cannot save them all. It might just be their time to go.
FAMILIES WITH LOVED ONES ON VENTILATORS OR IN COMAS –
Pray for them, silently and out loud; sit with them and touch them gently. Talk to them as if they can hear and understand you because, often, they can. Tell them of your love for them and that they are safe.
PEOPLE IN REHABILITATION AND THEIR LOVED ONES –
This experience is difficult for all concerned. The patient is fearful, impatient and angry and the loved ones do not know what to do to make it better. Try and arrange for a hospital-sponsored comfort-animal visit, especially if the patient has a pet. Praise the patient for every success and gently challenge them. Treat the patient “as if” he/she is their normal self already. Inside they are still themselves and deserve respect and to be treated with dignity. Use humor often if it is kind and uplifting for them.
THOSE DIAGNOSED WITH A SERIOUS OR FATAL ILLNESS –
This is a time for serious introspection and long talks with God. What was previously important swaps places with fears of loss of control and the unknown. Now is a good time for hopeful messages and helpful tips from others who have traveled the road before them. People need a sense of control over this upcoming transition. Hospice is a marvelous resource for all concerned.
PEOPLE MOURNING THE LOSS OF LOVED ONES –
Once we accept that we survive death and believe in the certainty of seeing our loved ones again, a more peaceful mourning period can be achieved. Those of us with NDE’s look forward to going “home” again and know that our deceased friends and family are always with us as we continue our earthly journey. IANDS meetings and information can be extremely useful.
CAREGIVERS –
As we comfort and care for ourselves and others in this life, whether as a paid companion, friend or relative, we must strive to be loving, kind, merciful, forgiving, encouraging, grateful, non-judgmental and useful. This litany makes a wonderful morning prayer.
CLERGY AND PEOPLE IN RELIGIOUS PROFESSIONS –
We humans are burdened and blessed by generations of other people’s interpretations of who God is. Some advice and regulations concerning our interaction with God has been helpful; much of it has not been positive or accurate. God cannot be made angry, hurt, disappointed or vengeful by our human actions. God unconditionally loves us and the only person to judge us in the afterlife is ourselves.
EVERYONE - WE ALL DIE EVENTUALLY –
We all need to take a step back now and then and reconsider our existence, purpose and eventual destination. As we age and the number of days left to us grow shorter, this becomes more pressing. However, none of us know when our last minute on earth will come. It is wise to prepare now for our next destination, while we still can.
